Quiet

ShadowsPhotographs by Kevin Tosh.

  1. I initially wanted to name this post “Shadows” but in the final hours before posting, the one word “Quiet” won the auction in my head. So, here we are. Which makes sense, really because:
  2. Darkness and quiet go hand in hand on some occasions: the hours just before the sun starts rising and before the birds start chirping; when you’re just about to fall asleep at night, the “pregnant pause” before a stage performance.
  3. I’m in a quiet mood of late. Wanting to gather all of my thoughts close to me, and to express myself in ways that are not verbal. Writing and speaking take energy. Sometimes you need the refuge of stillness to regroup. Continue Reading

That Something Terrible That Happened Last Night.

IMG_1220Hello! A few days ago I was brainstorming on post ideas (since, yes, I’ve been quiet for a while) and as I was going through my pictures found a couple from the time I visited my mother and sister in Paris. I shared one of these on my Instagram as a #throwback, not knowing that a few days later social media would be full of pictures people had taken at the same place in solidarity with the families and friends of those affected in the wave of terrorist attacks in the city on Friday night. I really don’t think that words are enough, but they’re what I leaned on to make sense of everything that had happened this last week. The following piece is something that I wrote over the weekend while grappling with all of these thoughts.

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Dear Diary: October 2015


NAS_5712Photographs by Kevin Tosh.

It’s November, which means it’s almost December, which means it’s almost Christmas, which means it’s almost the end of 2015, which means I’m thinking a lot about the past year and about the future and what I want to do. When I was younger I used to imagine that by the time you got to this age, you’d have clearly figured out your destiny (whatever you take that to mean). But then as I’ve grown I’ve realized that you could be 16, 20, 40, 70 and still asking the same old questions. And while it’s a comfort to know that 60 year olds who seem to have it all figured out are also grappling with questions about their purpose on this earth and the future, it is also a little frightening to imagine that this uncertainty doesn’t end. Continue Reading